BITO

Instead of talking about an experience I chosed to talk about someone who has changed my life in ways that I have never expected, that beautiful little person is called Gracy Hannabi Victoria González and she's my daughter. She was born on April 20th 2016, in Tuxtla Gutiérrez, Chiapas. My parents always told me that being a father is not an easy task and somethings are not as simple as they seemed, and honestly I never payed any attention to what they told me and I know it is a very cliche statement but… now I realized what they were preparing for, and I wasn't ready. I have to admit that I didn't had a connection with my daughter when she first borned, I couldn't believed that I was a father when I couldn't even take care of myself, it was a really weird sensation knowing that a little piece of me was crawling around my house and popping all over my bed and sofa, at first it was exhausting and stressful since I had to go to school in the mornings, work in the evenings and get home at night so I can take care of hanna and her mother, for a long time I was really angry with myself because I couldn't connect with hanna and I thought that I was the worst father ever and that I could never be enough for her, because i was a child too, I had no idea of what I was doing and it seemed like my life was over and I couldn't take anymore pressure. But then something happened on December 21 2017, hanna was especially annoying that night and I wasn't able to put her to sleep, so I decided to listen to the SoundCloud radio and see if a could find a lullaby since she has always enjoy music, and after a few minutes looking for the perfect song, Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish started playing and i got so distracted by how much I was loving the song that I didn't realized that hanna just fell asleep, at first I didn't think much of it, but I was so I'm love with Billie's voice that ocean eyes became my favorite song and I started playing it everywhere and soon enough I noticed that every time I played that song hanna just got really quiet and I was just amazed when I looked at her and it seemed to me like she was actually understanding the song and after that every time I came back home I played music that I liked and sat down with hanna in my arms and we both were listening to it and surprisingly every time we did that she didn't make a sound, she just stayed quiet and I felt like she was enjoying my company and one night I just looked at her as she fell asleep and I just started crying because I didn't know exactly what I was feeling but it was something I never felt before i just couldn't stop embracing her and kissing her little forehead and thinking about everything that I was willing to do for her and all the things that I was doing wrong and I had to changed in other to give her my everything. Since that day somehow I knew what I had to do, I started taking more care of myself so i can have more energy to spend time with her, my grades improve drastically in school and I stopped some bad habits and I even got really interested in physiology and pedagogy, I wanted to learned more about human connection and how to improve my relationships and myself, I started having goals and objectives, things that I never imagined myself doing and all of that I owe to my daughter the only person that without even being able to say a word, made me a better son, a better father and gave me a reason to wake up every morning and overcome every challenge that life can give me. She's the love of my life and couldn't be more grateful for having her beside me.